An early morning hello to any of my readers out there! Stressed, worried and anxious this morning, had to have the best cigarette of the day; the first one. This one is the best because the nicotine gives me a rush and helps ease the stress and worry of the coming day. Still coughing and have recently started gagging when I smoke, maybe a sign? Work changed my schedule and seemed to have forgotten that I have a test in class tonight. I have a feeling I will be missing it. I'm not ready for the test, I haven't been to class (a whole story in itself) and I haven't studied. But I feel that I should at least attempt to take the test. I will have to call my prof and try to reschedule it. Have a lot of stuff to worry about this week, meetings with choice people I don't want to meet with, finding important documents I lost, and figuring out what my next step is (I will be moving to Denver soon), hopefully I will stay strong and follow my plan of action for quitting. Just because I am experiencing emotional overload doesn't mean I shouldn't have to stick to my goal of being tobacco free. So, I'm allowing myself 9 cigarettes today, which should be pretty easy since I am working all day. Well, time to walk and feed the dog and enjoy a nice cup of coffee, my other addiction. Coffeecoffeecoffee!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Day 2
An early morning hello to any of my readers out there! Stressed, worried and anxious this morning, had to have the best cigarette of the day; the first one. This one is the best because the nicotine gives me a rush and helps ease the stress and worry of the coming day. Still coughing and have recently started gagging when I smoke, maybe a sign? Work changed my schedule and seemed to have forgotten that I have a test in class tonight. I have a feeling I will be missing it. I'm not ready for the test, I haven't been to class (a whole story in itself) and I haven't studied. But I feel that I should at least attempt to take the test. I will have to call my prof and try to reschedule it. Have a lot of stuff to worry about this week, meetings with choice people I don't want to meet with, finding important documents I lost, and figuring out what my next step is (I will be moving to Denver soon), hopefully I will stay strong and follow my plan of action for quitting. Just because I am experiencing emotional overload doesn't mean I shouldn't have to stick to my goal of being tobacco free. So, I'm allowing myself 9 cigarettes today, which should be pretty easy since I am working all day. Well, time to walk and feed the dog and enjoy a nice cup of coffee, my other addiction. Coffeecoffeecoffee!
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