Idle Hands Make Kristin Something Something...

What? Go crazy? Don't mind if I do!

Ugh, hot and lazy Saturday afternoons and I do not mix. Especially if I'm trying to quit smoking. I'm the type of person that has to stay busy or something inside my head goes SNAP! So I have decided to crochet an afghan. I love to crochet (nerd alert!) and keeping my hands moving literally prevents me from smoking. I made one of these afghans for my best friend and it turned out excellent, if I do say so myself. So, this new one is for my boyfriend. After spending countless days perusing the aisles at the big chain hobby store and clicking on a billion links on the internet searching for that perfect pattern, I eventually gave up and decided to go back to old trusty, the pattern I used for my friend's afghan, the 5 1/2 Hour Throw from Lionbrand.com. Pattern can be found here: 5 1/2 Hour Throw . I used a P hook instead of a Q like it calls for (did I say nerd alert loud enough the first time?) and it works up pretty fast with three strands of yarn held together. So my point to this is that I have much more success quitting smoking if I stay busy, even if that means filling every second with some activity so the nicotine receptors (you know, those nasty little black creatures that you've seen in those commercials) in my brain are distracted.

So with that, I'm off to crochet my cravings away!

Former Smoker Craving A Cigarette - BecomeAnEx.org

I wanted to share this video with my readers from BecomeAnEx.org. Funny as it may be, it hits pretty close to home. I have found myself in similar situations and understand the internal struggle that comes with trying to stay strong. Sometimes, I lose.

If I Wanna Quit, I'm Going Have To Go Through Me First!

Well, I survived. Only smoked one and a half cigarettes out of the three I allowed myself. And get this...I didn't even enjoy them. It's as if my body is trying to tell my mind to give it up by hating the taste and coughing up its own lung. Go body! I am encouraged now that quitting does indeed seem possible.

P.S. Does anybody want to buy a P.O.S. truck?

Long Car Ride + Cigarettes = Disaster

So, I have a bunch of errands to run meaning that I will be spending an extended amount of time in a radio-less, a/c-less, everything-less vehicle. I am having a debate with myself on the issue of bringing my cigarettes with me. I only smoke whole cigarettes and lots of them when I drive. But I'm not quite sure I'm up for being completely without nicotine for the entirety of my journey. Therefore, I have come to a compromise. I will bring a small number of cigarettes with me and work on fighting the urge to smoke them all at once. Ration them. This is one small step to weaning myself off of these cancer sticks. A least it's step in the right direction!

So It Begins...Again.

"I'll never blog again! I can't quit smoking, so why try?" I said recently, with tears in my eyes and frustration in my voice. I went many months, ignoring the computer, smoking like a chimney, with no regards to my health or mental well-being. Before, I loved to blog and I hated to smoke. But those priorities soon became reversed because of the challenges I faced in my life and over time, I took a giant leap in the wrong direction. Until today. Here I am with new found conviction, fighting the hesitation, the slight panic, and the fear of going through this whole process of quitting from the beginning...again.

Many things have happened since my last post. I have moved (three times), changed jobs (twice), and friends were made and lost and made again. All the while I was smoking cigarettes, not thinking of how much harder I was making the eventual reality of quitting on myself. Unwittingly building up an immunity so that breaking that tie to PM would be even harder. Hence the fear. The fear of an addict. I'm sure heroin, meth, and crack addicts go through the same fear when told to go to rehab. But there's no rehab for smokers, as much as I wish there was. I have to fight this addiction on my own. There is some help out there, yes, and I do plan on taking advantage of it, as I could not do it completely alone last time.

I will start slow, as I have said before, by cutting back the number of cigarettes I smoke in a day by one. I am going to call the QuitLine number today and see what they can do to help me. I will seek help from anyone that I can. This is it. Today, I am no longer a smoker.  Now it is time to turn over a new leaf. I've been working on stabilizing my life, my job, my relationships, and my finances. It is now time to add being smoke-free to the list.